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Friday, December 11, 2009

JOKES!

Well guys. Here are some funny jokes! (I got these out of Reader's Digest, so some of them may include Adult Content)

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to Heaven. Before they enter Heaven, they are greeted by an Angel.
''You must show me something that is alike a Christmas Ornament'', the Angel says.
One man holds up a pair of keys. ''These represent bells'', he says.
''Great! You may enter'', the Angel allows the man to enter.
The second man grabs a Match and Lights it. ''This represents a Candle of hope'', he says.
''Great, you are in!'', the Angel seems impressed.
The last man comes forward and digs into his bag, pulling out a pair of red lace underwear for women.
''Wait a second'', the Angel says, ''what do these have to do with Christmas?!?!?!''.
''There Carol's'', the man says.
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Marry an Orphan, you'll never have to spend a Christmas Date with the In-Laws.
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A man is on Trial for armed robbery. The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands, clears his through, and announces ''Not Guilty''.
The defendant leaps to his feet. ''Awesome!'', he shouts, ''does that mean I get to keep the money?''.
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For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB Gun, and he gave me a Sweater with a target on the back of it.
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Adam bit the apple, and, feeling great shame, covered himself with a Fig Leaf. Eve, too, felt shame and covered herself with a Fig Leaf. Then she went in back of the bush to try on some Maple Leaves and a Oak.
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I can't cook. So I use a Smoke Alarm for the timer.
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LOL I loved these.

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